I'm away visiting family for a week and a bit. Something I've been looking forward to for a long time. It's so great to see my little cousins growing up and to build a bond with them. Being here makes me think more about my future....as does everything. I wonder if the maternal side of me is really beginning to develop. I've always liked kids but I always felt that I wanted to skip the baby stage and just have teens. Now I have mixed feelings. I feel like the hardest thing right now is the fact that I have so many years to think. I don't want to keep contemplating and waiting. I want things now. I want my future now. I wish that school stuff was already done for him and I and that we wouldn't worry that our paths might make this relationship a long distance one. Oh Lord, give me peace and make me humble to you. I suppose that Regina might have to be something I cope and deal with and get through. If it is I will be happy because he will be happy......plus I know I can rely on my girl friends.